I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
