oh god the rape fog is back!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
