could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
