Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
