Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
