Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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