Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
