after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
