Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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