His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
