I wannas sexs uuuuu
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
