Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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