i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
