At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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