Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize