Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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