I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
