He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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