That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize