I need help removing her.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
