You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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