At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
