Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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