the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
