And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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