you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
