I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
