Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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