Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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