i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
