I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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