Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
