im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
