You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
