allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize