Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
