After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
