Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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