now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It was confusing and full of hummus
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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