I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
