Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
