I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
