Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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