its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
