We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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