i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
