you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize