She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So squirting runs in the family.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
