I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize