you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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