i need an iv and a liver transplant
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
