I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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