thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
