your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
